by: a.brain
We've all seen the crazy t-shirts that people wear...
But this one has the Brits banning it from some public places...hmmmm, wonder why??
It's from French Connection UK. See the connection?
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Faux Mitzvah
by: a.brain
The latest weapon in the gentile invasion, Faux Mitzvah's!!!
Do you remember the last time a religious holiday was actually about the faith of said religion? I do...but that was Holy Week of this year, and another matter altogether. Let's take the reformed faith's holidays as a classic example:
Christmass; kids screaming, parents drinking, people crowded in churches, fat guy and dwarves (I got a thing for midgets) jump into your house to drop off crap you'll toss in less than 2 years.
Easter; Mel Gisbon's movie made more money that Blazing Saddles (I have a thing for B.S.), churches rent out domes/concert halls/malls to hold mass services, everyone wears new- bright clothes, easter eggs, chocolate.
St. Patty's Day (churches stay clear) green beer, puking people, Irish drinking (I'm rolling my eyes)
But all those holiday's started with very spiritual overtones and are now about completely other things for many. Thus it is so with the Bar Mitzvah's. But why is it a problem, and who is to blame?
Well it's a problem because the idea of Jewish children learning about their history and faith used to mean something, and the hope was to celebrate their acceptance of that faith and the continuation and growth through adulthood. Not just an expensive party with lavish gifts, and a cursory nod to the church.
Blame, clearly rests on the shoulders of the parents. Jew and Gentile alike. Number one...learn to say no you freaking jellyfish. Gentile parents, when your kid comes in and asks for a Bar Mitzvah cause the Epstein kid had a killer party where his parents dropped 10 grrr on it, and everyone bought brand new video games and Microsoft stock for little Ernie Epstien, tell him tough MONKEY NUTS. You'll enjoy your little party in the birthday room at Chuckie Cheese and get the hell over it while the animatronic version of a 5 foot tall rat sings happy birthday to you while pretending to blow in a jug or play a guitar (depending on where you live in the U.S.). And if you don't like that, you can go cry in your room - or I could introduce you to Mr. THE BACK OF MY HAND.
Jewish parents...good for you...your kid turned 13. He's a man, or woman...whatever. Go to church, have em get up and say their verse, and heres the odd part. GO TO RYANS, or The Golden Corral, or The Golden Noodle, or Taco Bell...well not Taco Hell - but , seriously The Club - you know just dinner. Take the family...go have a nice meal. Affirm the little bugger/buggette with pats on the back and maybe an inspirational book, or a journal, a savings bond. Chill on the multi-level disco party with Don Cornelius as the announcer and drinks served off of Beyonce Knowles' ass, while David Copperfield twists balloons into animals.
If all we are giving our kids is a taste for expensive display, then we would do better to, as the Reform movement once suggested, scrap this tradition for a confirmation ceremony at the end of a course of Jewish study that extends beyond the age of 13. Indeed, the fact that for most kids, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah marks the end of any Jewish education is a worse problem than the expense wasted on lavish affairs.
from Torah.org
Pick your sign
Blorgy
by: a.brain
One of my favorite websites, and the only website I have spoken exclusively of here at "the blend", is Blorgy. Blorgy is a conglomeration of authors who post their most recent articles and then let others vote on them. According to the website:
What is Blorgy?
Blorgy is a post rating system for weblogs.
How does it work?
Blorgy relies on its viewers to read posts, and vote on them. By doing this, we can rank the posts so that other readers will know what the best sites to read are.
I find some of the best writing from the web available on this site, and I must warn you...not all the articles are PG-13. Unlike mine.
One of the best features of Blorgy is that anyone can post an article...and you start to see pretty quickly which sites are worth your time and attention.
In the future I will ask for others favorite sites and declare my own as well. We are on the precipice of a new era of writers...I would like to discover the quality ones with you.
The Anti-Panti
by: a.brain
The one problem I hear all the time from ladies is..."I have way too much underwear on! Isn't there some way I can have the comfort of knowing my pants won't get stankified by going commando, and still not have to deal with the hassle of FULL BLOWN undies???"
Well, finally I can answer these women a resounding YES. YES, you can have your tight, low-cut jeans on and not worry about the string from your thong poking out of the top. YES, you can finally wear those white pants you've been aching to crank out, but didn't have the drawers to go on under them. A resounding YES to all the days when your "granny panties" just won't cut it.
The Anti-Panti is a "coaster" of material that is adhesively attached to the insides of pants and is worn INSTEAD of underwear. According to the web site it is not a maxi-pad.
Also according to the website it comes in camo color. CAMO? For when you wanna wear it hunting???
Le Parkour
by: a.brain
Le Parkour - or "the art of movement" is defined by it's members as"obstacle coursing". Created by a Frenchman named David Belle it has grown considerably throughout france and the UK even being used by the BBC One as advertisement for their channel. Special thanks to Kathy P. who saw it demonstrated in New York and sent me a link.
The art form or sport and philosophy behind Le Parkour is reacting to the obstacles in one's environment through movement. Speed, agility, and fearlessness appear to be staples of Le Parkour as a "Traceur" (a practicer of Parkour) makes his way through the city-scape scaling walls, jumping from building to building, and roof-running.
They have been described as modern - day Samarui, and with the cat-like movements, and the zen approach to life and the way we interact with modern day structures and the need to LIVE within them...I see why they are seen as an eastern philosophy.
Le Parkour is made up of gangs of Traceurs who don't goad one another into dangerous jumps but learn and train with each other to push the limits of their abilitities and their internal controls. As David Belle said it during a BBC interview:
"We do it because we feel a need to move, we feel a need to exist - to show that we are there. Our aim is to take our art to the world and make people understand what it is to move."
Liar, Liar
The Dog Blog
By: David Dog
[Editor’s warning: The contents of this article may sound plausible but have not been fact-checked to ensure their accuracy. In fact, a.brain, who is a personal friend of David Dog’s, would bet that this story contains some completely fabricated information designed to entertain and amaze you while keeping David Dog’s can well-supplied with dog bones for the foreseeable future.]
(rapscallion - Kelley)
Is anyone really surprised, or better yet, does anyone really care, that yet another high-profile newspaper reporter, 43-year-old Jack Kelley of USA Today, has been found guilty (unofficially) on numerous counts of inserting fictional content into otherwise hum-drum international stories about war and death that few people probably remember reading anyway.* I say “fiction” because it’s a wonderfully innocuous word for the practice of telling people stories that aren’t true. Why accuse an intelligent, well-schooled Christian man of lying if storytelling is a socially acceptable pastime, simply in a different context? Sure, his credibility and integrity are being temporarily raked over the coals, but you could probably trust him more than members of your own family.
In reality (if there is such a thing anymore), we’ve probably only discovered the tip of the iceberg on factual reporting in all news media. Remember NBC “Dateline” story (I think it was Dateline; I really can’t be bothered to go check that for sure) a few years ago about cars that blew up? Except NBC rigged them to blow up? Or the recently exposed New York Times editor (I forget his name; Darth Vader is playing him in the movie) who’s already had his life story of fabricating stories immortalized on film – “based on a true story,” of course.
The New Boob Job
by: David Dog
They say that women don’t dress to attract men; the dress to piss off other women (case in point: men don’t get turned on by a Chanel purse or suit; but women wear them to put would-be competitors in their place). The same is true with breast augmentation. Yeah, bigger breasts are certainly helpful in getting gaggles of men to stare, but c’mon, let’s admit it ladies, it also establishes a pecking order among women. To quote Annie Potts, the “Designing Women” TV series actress who stuffed her bra to fake a boob job and then went and sat at a bar to see what would happen, “these breasts are POWER.”
Well now, women who have nothing better to do than to make other women feel inferior have found a new way to show off and entertain themselves. Petite pooches. And let me tell you this is an ugly, sad trend. Now if you’ve seen my picture in the “Us” section on this site, you know I’m a big dog. But it’s not my size that has me singling out poor little bitches in this article. In fact, if anything, I’m sticking up for small dogs’ rights.
You see, teacup dogs (a.k.a., bourgeois dogs, decorative dogs, miniature dogs) have gone from being one of nature’s oddities to the latest sport for rich women with too much idle time and money on their hands. In fact, it’s all I can do to keep from biting someone’s leg when I look at a site like www.teacuppuppies.com or www.bellapooch.com.
QUOTE THIS!
By J. Friendly
I'm major-pissed with the many Websites that use so-called "inspirational quotations" to add weight to their usual run of soulless-gutless-whatever content.
Here's a sappy, squishy example hot off the Web. It appeared in the April 20 edition of a site called National Restaurant Association SmartBrief (nra@smartbrief.com):
"If you would be pungent, be brief; for it is with words as with sunbeams - the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn." -- Robert Southey
Doesn't sappy, squishy crapola like that--chosen with great care from Bartlett's no doubt--just give you warm feelings all over? And the good part is that there's a new one posted every day, usually attributed to old farts and fartettes who dropped dead long ago. But their golden words live on forever--yeah, right!
Well, I see it all as part of a vicious circle created by editors who choose to resurrect this kind of brain vomit and site visitors whose hearts are supposed to flutter whenever they see another snippet this allegedly timeless and indispensable advice.
In reality, most of us just ignore this daily drivel. But I'm tired of playing shit-victim, so herewith I'm fighting back with my own list of really inspiring quotes. (As for what they inspire me to, I cannot divulge. But I can promise you these all have real-life bite!
J. FRIENDLY'S QUOTABLE HALL OF FAME
"Everything you see I owe to spaghetti." -- Sophia Loren (Often accompanied by a prime-time photo of the actress displaying her legendary pair of twins.)
"Modesty is for peasants" -- Bart Lytton, Los Angeles-based financier.
"Never trust a woman or an automatic pistol" -- John Dillinger, FBI poster boy of the 1930s.
"I'm as pure as the driven slush" -- Tallulah Bankhead, an actress of some ill-repute.
"You can observe a lot just by watching" -- Yogi Berra, who displays more real wisdom than all the artfays that the quotemeisters like to tap.
"Life is tough. Three out of three people die, so shut up and deal." -- Ring Lardner, a leading sportswriter of the 1920s.
"If dames are a crime, then I'm guilty as hell" -- George Raft, tough-guy actor quoted as himself.
"A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch" -- James Beard, corpulent food-world guru.
"I used to be Snow White, but I drifted" -- Mae West, an actress whose bazooms make Sophia Lauren's look like those of Olive Oyl.
"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things" -- This happens to be my personal philosophy, although I have seldom lived up to it.
So much for the initial inductees. I have a lot more sassy quotes where those came from and if I get good feedback, I may share some more.
