Brain Blenders

8,000 Miles

I just got my AA Advantage email telling me that I should pack a bag. Actually they just told me that as of 8/14/07 (current, right?) I had almost 8,000 miles this month. Which means; a) I went from New York to L.A. 2 & 1/2 times, or b) a bunch of other places a lot of times. It was "b", by the way. Not complaining, mind you...just explaining my iTunes and video game purchases as of late. Really...how much can you read on a plane? Well, quite a bit actually.

Which brings me to my major complaint today. I recently purchased "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" by Jeff Lindsay from iTunes read by Nick Landrum. Great book really if you like the show, however one problem still resides in the recording. Nick swallows. Let me explain, this guy does a great job narrating the text however right there in the recording of the story you can audibly hear him SWALLOW. It's hugely annoying...like sitting next to a loud pop-corn chomper during a quiet movie. Turns out I am very distracted by the background noise in audio recordings. I have quite a few comic shows on the iPod and after listening to them a few times, I will memorize the laughter or loud chatter of people ordering drinks during the show. Patton Oswalt's crowds are particularly boisterous. While Russell Peter's audience is attentive and not captured as over-whelming attendees. I wonder what this says about me? Am I too sensitive to outside noises? Or should I use my super-powers for good by alerting the recording studios that be that a nice muffler on a mic does wonders for your final audio cut?

But, still the narrator swallowing captured during the recording is unexpected. You don't get that from a Clancy book.

Dallas - Tucson - Boston and all I have to show for it is this barf bag

Just landed this evening from a whirlwind trip. Dallas, Tucson, and Boston in three days for business. Speaking in Tucson, presenting to an interesting bunch in Boston, and moving through Dallas.

I placed some of the photos in my Flickr account just to give you a taste of the scenery. Things I've learned along the way, Bacn is an issue to be discussed, Boomers are horrible "texters-while-driving" (as if any of us should be), and you can learn a lot about our world by studying the blogosphere.

If I could recommend one book for you to read very soon it would be "Rebel Without a Crew" by Robert Rodriguez. This is a fascinating tale of how a dude with a dream took on Hollywood (not on purpose) all by himself with a movie made for $7,000. Anytime I have run into people saying how something couldn't be done lately, I've thought of "Rebel Without a Crew" and his first move El Mariachi.  One guy wrote a movie inside a medical experiment facility, did all the camera work, sound, lighting, and editing, then promoting of the movie. If you have enough passion around your project, it doesn't matter what anyone says...you'll win at the end just by doing it.

The vomit bag says www.brainblenders.com, "a.brain was on this bag - I sat on it for an entire flight. Thats my name on my blog - not to imply that my brain is in my nether regions.
This is all part of my plan to overcome no advertising budget on a free blog by promoting my blog on airplane vomit bags. Help me out...write www.brainblenders.com on any and every bag you encounter during your flights, or wherever you might run into vomit bags. Thanks

Speed

"Everyone thinks they are moving fast until someone runs up their tailpipe."

Life is moving fast at the moment, could anyone participating in the modern marketplace argue that with me? At my job we spend quite a bit of time watching, listening, and interacting with people in order to determine what really drives them, and one thing I can tell you for sure about the current state of people's lives is...busy.

Giant Duh from the collective right? Well, when you stop to really think about your own life let's ask a few questions. Are you busier now than you were 3 years ago? Do you do more in one day than you did a year ago? Do you find more time to play in spite of all the work you are doing?

We are all very busy, maybe too busy for our own good. As a matter of fact I think we might have to force ourselves to just relax.

One of my favorite quotes about "busy":

"No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance."

Mom, my cocaine tastes like Kool-Aid

Flavored cocaine is the new hottest drug on the west coast these days. One of the street names is Tutti-frutti, which is a far different cry from the candy of my memory. Also known as "drips" or "Koolcaine", (and I propose the future name should be "Pixie Stix") the product is reportedly being sold at a 40% increase on regular coke.

Reason for orange, strawberry, or vanilla flavored cocaine? Apparently coke gives you a horrible after-taste in the back of your throat, so the flavor gives you a pleasant taste with your high. Joy-joy-joy...welcome back to the crazy crack days of the 80's??

Lap of Luxury

Every once and awhile I get the opportunity to travel on a private plane when a group of coworkers need to be somewhere without the hassle of going a day before, spending the night, eating dinner...and everything else that goes with it. Just a meeting, in and out!

Couple of weeks ago I went to Sheboygan, WI for a meeting in a small plane...and the ride was kinda rough. But, the great thing about the ride was that I was the steward during the flight on the way up. I have never desired to be an "air waiter", but found myself in the position of being the closest to the coffee during the flight.

So I served coffee and passed out bagels all from the back of the plane sitting on an igloo cooler. Not the most glamorous of travel...being a steward on a plane no larger than a custom van with wings. But, at least I'm adding to my resume. If anyone needs an air-clown on a tiny plane in the near future...contact me.

All Medicine Should Taste Like Robitussin

There are many new-fangled cough syrup's available for parents to give their kids that taste good. Products like Jack and Jill's Raspberry, Mucinex Cherry, Triaminic Thin Strips (not technically even a syrup), Triaminic Liquid Bubble Gum, and then there is Fruit Punch Flavor, customizable flavors, and who knows what else.

I have two beliefs when it comes to getting rid of colds and nagging coughs.

1. Sweat it out.
        Get out there and push the illness out of you with a jog, or push-ups, or maybe some bikram yoga. You have to make the sickness want to leave your body through the sheer suffering that you are willing to put yourself under. Sickness wants an easy road, an unaltered path to your couch-potato side, and it is your duty to make that side of you die, and thus force sickness out.

2. Drink Robitussin.
       No, not the new fangled flavors that taste good going down, but the original. This almost completely negates belief number 1 due to the FACT that Robitussin tastes just like liquid death. If one could bottle death it would taste like Robitussin! When you swallow it, you lose a small portion of your life expectancy and therefor make sickness unwelcome in your body. You could try running after this, but you would end up in a white Ford Bronco driving down the interstate with Al Cowlings. Robitussin does unbelievable things to your mind and body making it impossible for sickness to appeal to your common sense (soft side) and tell you that things will rationally get better over time if you just lie down, and pasing out doesn't count here.

I think my point is we need to stop babying ourselves during these periods of physical lamentations and just get right to the point. Sickness sucks, the remedies are worse, and you should dry your hair before you go to bed that way you won't get a cold in the first place. Nothing helps a child learn that life is hard like a good dose of liquid death.

Now that I try to think about it, i wasn't even going to post an article tonight until that swig of 'TUSSIN".

Genius Qualities

Who do you want to be when you grow up?
“I want to be a genius.” the child replied.
A genius huh? Did you know that history has placed that moniker “genius”, on some wildly successful and possibly crazy people?
“Yeah, I want to be like that.”
Successful or crazy?
“Remembered in history.”

The 24 Qualities that Geniuses Have in Common
The world’s greatest geniuses have all had 24 personality characteristics in common and you can develop the same traits yourself, says an expert.

“Most people have the mistaken idea that geniuses are born, not made”, declared clinical psychologist Dr. Alfred Barrious, founder and director of the Self-Programmed Control Center of Los Angeles and author of the book, Towards Greater Freedom and Happiness.

“But if you look at the lives of the worlds greatest geniuses like Edison, Socrates, DaVinci, Shakespeare, Einstein, you will discover they all had 24 personality characteristics in common.
“These are traits that anyone can develop. It makes no difference how old you are, how much education you have, or what you have accomplished to date. Adopting these personality characteristics enables you to operate on a genius level.”
Here are the Characteristics Dr. Barrios lists, which enable geniuses to come up with and develop new and fruitful ideas:
1.    DRIVE. Geniuses have a strong desire to work hard and long. They’re willing to give all they’ve got to a project. Develop your drive by focusing on your future success, and keep going.
2.    COURAGE. It takes courage to do things others consider impossible. Stop worrying about what people will think if you’re different.
3.    DEVOTION TO GOALS. Geniuses know what they want and go after it. Get control of your life and schedule. Have something specific to accomplish each day.
4.    KNOWLEDGE. Geniuses continually accumulate information. Never go to sleep at night without having learned at least one new thing each day. Read. And question people who know.
5.    HONESTY. Geniuses are frank, forthright and honest. Take the responsibility for thins that go wrong. Be willing to admit, ‘I goofed’ and learned from my mistakes.
6.    OPTIMISM. Geniuses never doubt they will succeed. Deliberately focus your mind on something good coming up.
7.    ABILITY TO JUDGE. Try to understand the facts of a situation before you judge. Evaluate things on an opened minded, unprejudiced basis and be willing to change your mind.
8.    ENTHUSIASM. Geniuses are so excited about what they are doing, it encourages others to cooperate with them. Really believe that things will out well. Don’t hold back.
9.    WILLINGNESS TO TAKE CHANCES. Overcome your fear of failure. You won’t be afraid to take chances once you realize you can learn from your mistakes.
10.    DYNAMIC ENERGY. Don’t sit on your butt waiting for something good to happen. Be determined to make it happen.
11.    ENTERPRISE. Geniuses are opportunity seekers. Be willing to take on jobs others won’t touch. Never be afraid to try the unknown.
12.    PERSUASION. Geniuses know how to motivate people to help them get ahead. You’ll find it easy to be persuasive if you believe in what you’re doing.

It's a matter of perspective

Ok, ok...I've been out of commission for a bit (bit =  month and a half). But, I'm still here and still watching the site everyday...and was struggling to think of what I wanted to say as a return article until two weeks ago when I was north of San Diego California.

Specifically I was staying at a nice resort-type place called The Inn at Rancho Santa Fe in RANCHO SANTA FE, CA the third most expensive Zip Code in America where the residents of said community light people like me on fire to have a smoke. I had just finished speaking with some people at the University of California San Diego, gone back to my room to have a few phone calls and do some work when I realized I was starving. Fast forward to sitting in a cafe at 2PM Western time on the hotel property where local residents often come for a quick bite or drinks.

Let me point out, that at these moments I am a sponge. I try to take in all the local flavor and nuances by listening to the conversations around me and watching how the people interact with each other. Some might call this eavesdropping, but if you get paid to do this type of work, it is referred to as research!

On my right (not pictured) a mother and college-age daughter were sharing a meal together discussing upcoming needs, social calendar, and where the daughter was dining that night, I think she said Dick's Last Resort. The mother asked her if she needed an outfit to wear to the restaurant, and the daughter emphatically declined. I resisted the temptation to lean over and say, Dick's is not the place to wear an "outfit". Maybe a shock collar, and some heels - but an outfit? Not necessary.

However, the most interesting conversation heard was by the two women pictured in the photo above. They had stopped in the cafe to have some refreshment, and as they began to catch up with one another regarding their lives and what their respective families had going on, it seemed they had a newish relationship.

I listened carefully to them talk about what the kids were doing, friends they had in common, and general town gossip. Then one of the ladies asked the other one, "Who did your eyes?" I assumed she was referring to the other ladies makeup.

But the other one responded right away - "The first time, Dr. So-and-so did them, and it was ok. But Dr. So-and-so touched them up a month ago and I just love his work." First lady reacts, "Oh yeah, they look great...I should get him to do mine."

"You really should, his office is so nice. The staff are really easy going and they just make you feel like it's not even a medical office. You know?"

"Maybe I should get everything done then..."

Raucous laughter....

ME...walking back to the room and looking at my eyes in the mirror...should I get them done?

long day of travel

my heart goes out to all the road warriors stuck wherever they may be this weekend. for I, you see am one of those fortunate few who have had the opportunity to get to know their coworkers much better than they had expected over the past twelve hours.

I am sitting in a rented SUV on a major interstate in traffic that stretches for miles with 5 of my friends of commerce trying desperately to get home! earlier today we made it to the airport in plenty of time to get through check in, security and make it to the other side just as the dreaded "flight delayed" sign spread across our flight information. that is the tale-tell notice, in weather like this, that your flight could soon be cancelled. three hours later...sure enough it was. next flight out...24 hours from then, ON STANDBY! no thank you we said, we will take our chances with driving 8 hours through the weather ourselves. well...here we sit midnight has come and gone with several hours to go.

not a complaint! just a tip of the hat to the folks who marshal on without too much complaining or whining, here's to the dedicated loonies who don't yell at the people working the desks, or raise a giant fuss when their own lives are inconvenienced because of weather. good on you!

It's What Dad Does

if I was completely honest with you...at no point in my young life did I think I would be spending most saturday's in a gymnastic facility watching my children running around doing "gymnastic" things.

and I love it! it is so much fun to see how excited they get about going to practice, I'm just glad I get a chance to watch them, and they get a chance to participate. at no point have we conveyed a message to either of the noodles that it is a right to participate in what is essentially a priveledge of our affluent culture. but the interesting thing is that neither of them regard it as so - nature/nurture?

sidebar...the real reason I bring it up is this. what are they going to be doing in another 5 years? 10 years? to me it doesn't matter...I just know I want to be around to see it.