Brain Blenders

new site

hey guys, sorry for the serious delay in posting the new site. The link is www.culturewav.es

More coming as to how and why this has occurred. Just know I am in New York on a media tour for CultureWaves, and wanted to make sure I got this over here as soon as possible.hit me up if you know my digits and get the skinny on what the deal is! One love, a.brain - andy ford

11/13/2007 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (1)

The Move Happens This Week

Well, the new site is almost done. I am moving my blog efforts over to a new location this week. Announcement happens Monday or Tuesday unless something else breaks...

10/15/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (8)

Before I Die: Golf Cross

91_golfcross_1jpeg Couple of people have told me about this new sport that sounds like the coolest thing since three-man wiffle-ball. Golf Cross originated from New Zealand, due in a large part to the fact that the natives didn't have the room, or the course management capacity to make original golf work. So, develop a game that doesn't take smooth fairways and pristine putting greens - hello Golf Cross. The key is the new golf ball, and net. The ball is oblong, like a rugby ball, and instead of putting into a hole - you chip into a net. Apparently the ball flies straight and true. Lean it to the left in the special tee and it goes left, right and it goes right, etc...People are juiced about a game that involves the mechanics of golf without all the difficulty of spin, shanks, and otherwise tedious ball control. I like golf, but more than golf I like whacking things with a stick and trying to make the thing I whacked hit other things, I think I will LOVE Golf Cross.

09/28/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (4)

Two Week Progression

Progression Been on the road for two weeks and decided to chronicle the event with a series of photos from my laptop. Well, I got busy doing - you know - work and only took three pictures. But, the three I took tell a story of the road over the course of two weeks. From left to right they detail the beginning to the end of the trip.
Picture one starts in New York, pic two was taken in San Francisco, and pic three was captured in Chicago. All in all, the road will take it's toll on you. Hopefully you come back with insight a little deeper, and a little more personal. From dining, to the people, to the events that take place...the entire experience has made me more aware of a few things, and even more fascinated with our culture. After I get my laptop back, and return the loaner one I have been working on for the last few weeks...I will chronicle my stops via the iPhone camera. I have missed talking with my buddies through the blog for the last two weeks, except "Token".

09/21/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (2)

Cup o' Coffee

Cup_of_coffee Check out the size of this cup of coffee. I think the size of the cup determines the amount of discretionary income that a society has. I am in San Francisco this week, and the cups in the Marina area of town determine the income present in the neighborhood. More photos to come. BTW, sushi rules at Umami. I would love to eat there every night. Lot's of work left to do over the next two weeks...hope to post more soon. Thanks for the love back to BrainBlenders.

09/14/2007 in Design | Permalink | Comments (2)

Mediocracy Held Sway

Crap Average, Fair, Moderate, Middling, Ordinary.

All words that signify the state of the internet today. In other words...dull crap. Now, not all of the content on the web is sad, bad, boring (even if it is ALL THE RAGE IN JAPAN), or obtuse. There is some quality content out there, but weeding through the junk is getting more and more difficult and time consuming. Finding the quality in the vast sea of quantity is like looking for a picture of a cat without stuff on it.

The bigger question here is, not why is a.brain complaining?, but who is to blame for this pandemic? The answer is YOU! Time Magazine told us that You were the Person of the Year. Told us that we had the ability to remake the web in our image. That sites like YouTube, Flickr, and the millions of blogs out there (www.brainblenders.com) were giving the power to the people. The new collective intelligence was going to be smarter, broader, faster, and generally just all around better than all previous attempts of the consumer taking control of their information.

Well, WE were wrong! Turns out that most of us don't know jack-squat about producing good TV, professional writing, or quality content on the net. Sure, one can go to YouTube and watch the History of Dance, one could read the infrequent posts by Maddox, one can even occasionally find a quality blog that will keep you raptured for the last four years (www.brainblenders.com), but most of all we see is garbage.

Also-rans, and repeats of content we saw years ago. Do we need another college co-ed telling us how her day went on a webcam? Do we really need another remake of an OK GO video? Why the hell would I ever want to see another Myspace page?  Is your personality survey so riveting that I will be inspired?

Give me something new! Give me greatness! I want to see the human condition striving for more than mediocre. The middle sucks. I suggest that we all GO TOO FAR! Make a statement with art and science that makes me want to jump out of my chair and scream...YES, or NO!!!! The same-old-thing we did several years ago at the beginning of Web 2.0 is no longer acceptable. Push for more, demand the best, make a difference in the content that makes us all stand up and take notice.

One of my favorite sayings is "Bored people, are boring people". In other words, if you are bored (which SO many people are) then you aren't trying to not be bored. My point is...I don't intend to go down easy here. It is my intention to call for more fascinating information, displayed in a way that drives you back...again and again. This is why I am considering moving my blog into a whole new area, and in that I mean a new dynamic site. Stand by for imminent news about BrainBlenders coming out with a move announcement. One in which mediocracy will not be an issue!

09/03/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (12)

8,000 Miles

Mymap I just got my AA Advantage email telling me that I should pack a bag. Actually they just told me that as of 8/14/07 (current, right?) I had almost 8,000 miles this month. Which means; a) I went from New York to L.A. 2 & 1/2 times, or b) a bunch of other places a lot of times. It was "b", by the way. Not complaining, mind you...just explaining my iTunes and video game purchases as of late. Really...how much can you read on a plane? Well, quite a bit actually.

Which brings me to my major complaint today. I recently purchased "Darkly Dreaming Dexter" by Jeff Lindsay from iTunes read by Nick Landrum. Great book really if you like the show, however one problem still resides in the recording. Nick swallows. Let me explain, this guy does a great job narrating the text however right there in the recording of the story you can audibly hear him SWALLOW. It's hugely annoying...like sitting next to a loud pop-corn chomper during a quiet movie. Turns out I am very distracted by the background noise in audio recordings. I have quite a few comic shows on the iPod and after listening to them a few times, I will memorize the laughter or loud chatter of people ordering drinks during the show. Patton Oswalt's crowds are particularly boisterous. While Russell Peter's audience is attentive and not captured as over-whelming attendees. I wonder what this says about me? Am I too sensitive to outside noises? Or should I use my super-powers for good by alerting the recording studios that be that a nice muffler on a mic does wonders for your final audio cut?

But, still the narrator swallowing captured during the recording is unexpected. You don't get that from a Clancy book.

08/27/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (3)

Dallas - Tucson - Boston and all I have to show for it is this barf bag

Img_0426 Just landed this evening from a whirlwind trip. Dallas, Tucson, and Boston in three days for business. Speaking in Tucson, presenting to an interesting bunch in Boston, and moving through Dallas.

I placed some of the photos in my Flickr account just to give you a taste of the scenery. Things I've learned along the way, Bacn is an issue to be discussed, Boomers are horrible "texters-while-driving" (as if any of us should be), and you can learn a lot about our world by studying the blogosphere.

If I could recommend one book for you to read very soon it would be "Rebel Without a Crew" by Robert Rodriguez. This is a fascinating tale of how a dude with a dream took on Hollywood (not on purpose) all by himself with a movie made for $7,000. Anytime I have run into people saying how something couldn't be done lately, I've thought of "Rebel Without a Crew" and his first move El Mariachi.  One guy wrote a movie inside a medical experiment facility, did all the camera work, sound, lighting, and editing, then promoting of the movie. If you have enough passion around your project, it doesn't matter what anyone says...you'll win at the end just by doing it.

The vomit bag says www.brainblenders.com, "a.brain was on this bag - I sat on it for an entire flight. Thats my name on my blog - not to imply that my brain is in my nether regions.
This is all part of my plan to overcome no advertising budget on a free blog by promoting my blog on airplane vomit bags. Help me out...write www.brainblenders.com on any and every bag you encounter during your flights, or wherever you might run into vomit bags. Thanks

08/23/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (2)

The Plight of the Flight

Img_0345 I travel a bit.

Most of you know what that means. It means, that I am intimately familiar with the Chili's Too menu, have memorized the Starbuck's locations in most U.S. airports, and am completely used to being screwed with.

As a matter of fact, I have such thick skin now, that today, after I gave the counter worker my boarding pass in ORD (Chicago, O'Hare Airport) and noticed that my pen had fallen out of my pocket near my seat 4 feet away from the gate, and walked over to grab it then walked right by the airline employee without butting in front of anyone, and have her run angrily up behind me to tell me that I was "not cool" for sneaking past her, I didn't respond at all. Why should I respond? What good would my witty retort do? Teach her a lesson? Make a statement of defiance like in some movie about social reform, and oppression? Or just let it go?

I often choose to let it go. When some TSA agent starts yelling at us like cattle in a line waiting to be neutered, I try not to get upset remembering that I am actually a paying customer and not a convict waiting to lift and spread. When an Air Waitress wakes me up to make sure my noise canceling headphones aren't on, only protecting my peace from some louder passenger. When I get bumped, delayed, or redirected to another city, it doesn't do any good to get mad. It's air travel. The last bastion of freedom in the friendly skies. Right?

Horror stories of air travel abound. Being left on a tarmac for hours at a time seems to be unreasonable. Airline employees berating customers appears to be the norm now, not the exception. TSA agents doing what they do is a common inconvenience, but hardly worth getting me fired up. I have other things to concentrate on, more important things.

What kinds of things you might ask, Little Miss Mary Sunshine? Well, I'll tell you. I'm thinking we need to help the TSA do their jobs more thoroughly. That's why, I am considering calling for a "All Nude Wand Demand Day". One day in the next few months when everyone who goes through any Checkpoint gets completely undressed and demands to be wanded. This will ensure that the employees of the TSA will have full access to any and all the information they might need that day. This would boost their morale, as they would finally be able to go home that night and say their families..."the air was safe today, of that I am sure." Let's all make sure and get connected on this one, I recommend hugging your TSA agent after the wanding, to make sure they know how much you care...then get dressed.

Once through the checkpoint the reach out and touch someone continues. We've all heard some belligerent passenger yelling at an agent out of frustration, well not on this day brother. This special day will require you to NOT YELL. This will be "Low-Talker Response Day". We want to make sure that no one is hampered in their requests so it will be necessary to make sure your message is understood. We will all have to eat plenty of garlic, onions, and maybe some poutine - so when you lean in close to make your request you will notice the agents eyes water, and then you will know that you were understood.

Once on board immediately fall asleep, with your seat belt fastened in plain visible sight. The air waiter's and waitress's have a hard enough job not committing suicide without our efforts. However, if you feel the need to help -  pat one on the bottom like they would in professional sports. And follow the code...boy/boy and girl/girl. No need to get all sexist on this day of days.

And, maybe if none of this works for you...buck up Nancy, life sucks all over.




08/17/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (6)

iWood = iCrave

Iwood AHHHHHHH I Want one! I don't need it, hell...nobody needs it. I mean, if I'm totally honest, I probably didn't actually need an iPhone. There I said it.
But, that has nothing to do with the iWood by Miniot. These absolutely gorgeous phone cases are carved from one piece of wood and fit perfectly around your iPhone. They come in Cherry, Walnut, Oak, Padouk, and Mahogany. Padouk?

This is one more example of a growing trend of traditionally man-made products heading towards the natural. When you think about it, it makes perfect sense...we feel more and more disconnected from the planet. With all the news hitting us regarding our failing eco-structure it only seems natural that we would want a more tangible grasp on the real textures we feel further and further apart from. Even if that means wrapping your obscenely priced phone in wood. What's next? Cotton condoms? "Ahh, the touch of Cotton."

08/14/2007 in Design | Permalink | Comments (4)

The Lord of War - the life of a bullet

Lifeofabullet_2

One of the greatest openings to a major motion picture I have ever seen. Absolutely beautiful, especially in contrast to the ending of the sequence. Cinematically it's beautiful, and the story the life of a bullet tells ends shockingly. The whole movie is just OK, but the opening has always stuck with me. Check it out on YouTube. Tell me another great opening if you know one...I love beginnings.

08/12/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (5)

New BrainBlenders Photos

Brainsflickr Have started another Flickr site, this one for BrainBlenders...and will be adding new photos from the last few adventures. Just doing my part making the world a smaller place. Link.

More this week from NYC are coming. All photos are shot with my iPhone.

08/07/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (3)

All the Good TV Happens to be in Miami

Miamishows Two of my favorite shows are set in Miami, FL. One of the shows is good for just about anyone (you won't have to mute some parts) to watch and the other is primarily set for people who are willing to watch absurdly insane characters run a storyline (you better watch this one with headphones). Burn Notice is my favorite new show this season, and the only show I will drop stuff to watch. Dexter is my second favorite show to watch and due to the fact that no one watches it with me, I watch it on my iPod or iPhone, and don't have to drop anything.

Both shows have the main characters running inner thought dialog, and it works well on both accounts. Burn Notice is like watching a much, much cooler MacGyver. Telling you how to make what looks like C-4 out of cake icing and why one type of thug is different than another type. Dexter's inner dialog is mostly a creepy account of how much he wants to kill people (all bad) and why. Dexter also has flashbacks to his past, which is critical to make me feel better about pulling for someone who cuts up bad guys.

I'm not going into any more details about the shows, cause they are cool enough for you to check out if you're interested, but here's the bottom line on both shows, they are weird. Burn Notice is not a modern day Miami Vice with gratuitous shots of Miami beach scenes and techno music. Well, yeah...actually there is a lot of beach babe scenes and techno but the writing is clever, funny, and offbeat. Dexter, on the other hand is a running sketchbook of the insane ramblings of a methodical serial killer pretending to be a normal person. Both bring something new to TV for me...which is to say not the same step and click pattern of 99% of television on the tube today. This isn't American Idol, You Think You Can Dance, or Who Wants to Marry a Schitzu. This is different, and odd, and therefor good TV. TV that you might actually want to watch, not just wade through before you crash.

08/06/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (0)

One Month Later, the iPhone

Abrainiphone I figured it was time to report on my take regarding the iPhone one month into the usage.

The Interface:
I simply love the ability to grab the screen and make it bigger or smaller. Whether it's pictures or Safari, using the screen as a device unto itself is just about the coolest way to interact with your data. The best way to show people just how badass the iPhone is only requires you to open up a web page and grab the screen and make it bigger. End of story everything else just feels like plastic in their pockets after that.

The Phone:
It's ok...the stereo headphones make it better, the speaker-phone is weak, sometimes my boss calls and the phone refuses to answer...I mean literally the screen won't allow me to answer the call. Kinda frustrating. Overall the phone experience is way better than my Sidekick was, and less dependable than any of my Blackberry's.

Email:
Freaking WEAK! Honestly, this is the worst of it. I have gotten used to reading my work email and replying with DotMac account though. The people who know me, and need me to respond immediately know to hit me up on the .mac account for a quicker response. But, after you have become accustomed to a dedicated server like with the Crackberry, then everything else is like going back in time.

Calendar:
OK, this is the weakest...syncing up my daily activities at night, then having them change half a dozen times during the day is pretty lame. Not having a real-time sync is a dupe...

iPod:
STRONG. Strong. Strong! Listening to my tunes when I want, with one device is great. And having the phone ring in the middle of Spoon singing The Underdog, just puts you in a great mood for any conversation. Like any iPod, sync is seamless and works like a champ. Can't wait until the next version comes out and they allow the phone to work with iTunes over WIFI...I'll be positively green, and spin the sucky outcome like I'm a purist who wants to hang onto the original because I'm old-school!

Everything else:
Screw everything else...30 days into this puppy and my only wish is that I could marry it. Hold any mobile next to your head, and then let me walk up next to you with this by mine, and people will assume that I am from the future, if I'm running it's because I have discovered that my calendar was wrong and I'm late for an appointment! Apparently, in the future we are less concerned about being up-to-date with out current information.

Caveat, if you don't have techno-lust and just want a cell to be a cell, then don't get one - you'll be wasting an iPhone. Look for me in the next 60 to see if we're still together?

07/30/2007 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (3)

Speed

Speed "Everyone thinks they are moving fast until someone runs up their tailpipe."


Life is moving fast at the moment, could anyone participating in the modern marketplace argue that with me? At my job we spend quite a bit of time watching, listening, and interacting with people in order to determine what really drives them, and one thing I can tell you for sure about the current state of people's lives is...busy.


Giant Duh from the collective right? Well, when you stop to really think about your own life let's ask a few questions. Are you busier now than you were 3 years ago? Do you do more in one day than you did a year ago? Do you find more time to play in spite of all the work you are doing?

We are all very busy, maybe too busy for our own good. As a matter of fact I think we might have to force ourselves to just relax.

One of my favorite quotes about "busy":

"No matter how busy you may think you are, you must find time for reading, or surrender yourself to self-chosen ignorance."

07/25/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (4)

widget mania

Widgets I seriously recommend discovering all you can about Widgets. Widgets are third party web
apps, depicted through graphical representation, that offer desktop or mobile users the opportunity to dial into a specific functionality right on your desktop or mobile device.


To be more direct, it's a piece of code represented via a graphic image, that takes up little space on your hard drive and gives the user a simple interface to retain the information the app delivers.

Macs have the Dashboard that allows the easy management of Widgets, and some of my favorite ones are the Sticky Note, AccuWeather, iPhone Apps, Top 25 iTunes, and of course the Calculator. Yahoo offers up it's own version of the Widget management system (it's where I got this pretty picture from), and it has some great little apps that you can sink your teeth into. Another great place to find Widgets that you can make work for you here at Widgetbox.com.

You'll notice BrainBlenders has a widget that is available to place on your desktop a little further down the page and on the right. Many people have already downloaded this little puppy, and I hope they are enjoying it fully.

The secret to the Widget world is to try a few safe ones first, before you download 20 of them only to determine that you never look at 'em. Get the weather one, the sticky notes one, and maybe a music program just see if you like, and then you can go on the search for a bunch that will simplify your interface.

07/15/2007 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (2)

iPost with my iPhone

I am officially on vacation this week, but that didn't stop me from acquiring the new iPhone just prior to my flight out of town. I mean, a geek has got to do what a geek has to do right? Anyway, I have coined a new term by which posting content on your blog from your iPhone will evermore be known as an "iPost"!

I am currently overlooking the white sands of the Gulf of Mexico with no wifi kicking out this article on my funky little keyboard. So please excuse the mispellings, typos, and let's throw in the gramatical errors I typically make due to the fact that I am still orienting myself to the device.

This little device makes my inner child very happy! Some people love a good book, wine, or car. For me, its the toy! And the iPhone has toy written all over it! I have utilized all the programs on the device so far and none have been found to be lacking. Give me two more weeks with it and we'll see how I feel about it.

07/01/2007 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Mom, my cocaine tastes like Kool-Aid

Orangeflavoredcrack Flavored cocaine is the new hottest drug on the west coast these days. One of the street names is Tutti-frutti, which is a far different cry from the candy of my memory. Also known as "drips" or "Koolcaine", (and I propose the future name should be "Pixie Stix") the product is reportedly being sold at a 40% increase on regular coke.

Reason for orange, strawberry, or vanilla flavored cocaine? Apparently coke gives you a horrible after-taste in the back of your throat, so the flavor gives you a pleasant taste with your high. Joy-joy-joy...welcome back to the crazy crack days of the 80's??

06/27/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (6)

Hotel 21c Museum

Hotel21cThis is one of the coolest hotels I have ever stayed in, and it's not in the middle of New York, or Vegas, or San Francisco. It's the Hotel 21c Museum in Louisville, KY. In this photo I am standing in front of the elevators looking at a GIANT video of myself with letters falling down on my frame bouncing off spelling out words like "justify" and "pandering" and "cheesy art props", kidding about the last one. It's just one more example of how 21c Museum Hotel has raised the bar on boutique hotels, and brought a very cool vibe into the otherwise, Holiday-Innness of the hotel traveler.

One of the things they highlight are these little red penguins. And by little and red, I mean 4 feet tall and flaming red. I am dedicating a picture album to the hotel and some of the things I have experienced here in the coming days. I am actually at the beginning of a several day trip that will culminate into several weeks of action. Look for all the documentation here on BrainBlenders. The a.brain North American Tour has begun - here's to hoping I can continue to run throughout my adventure.

Photo Album - with more pics coming in the next few days

05/29/2007 in Design | Permalink | Comments (7)

Pac-Man's Skull

Pacmanskull This is awesome! I know you'll love it, be creeped out by it, and ultimately hope that one day your own head would look this way - if you own head could be placed on display as a skull.
An artist collaborated with a paleontologist to recreate what the video game Pac-Man's skull would look like if it had in fact, existed and then died from apparent ghost-induced homicide. Kidding on the last part, clearly Donkey Kong did him in. This only further speaks to the fact that video games have been a critical part of our culture for some time...and it seems they will only increase in awareness. 

Link to original article

05/21/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (0)

Lap of Luxury

Backofplane_2Every once and awhile I get the opportunity to travel on a private plane when a group of coworkers need to be somewhere without the hassle of going a day before, spending the night, eating dinner...and everything else that goes with it. Just a meeting, in and out!

Couple of weeks ago I went to Sheboygan, WI for a meeting in a small plane...and the ride was kinda rough. But, the great thing about the ride was that I was the steward during the flight on the way up. I have never desired to be an "air waiter", but found myself in the position of being the closest to the coffee during the flight.

So I served coffee and passed out bagels all from the back of the plane sitting on an igloo cooler. Not the most glamorous of travel...being a steward on a plane no larger than a custom van with wings. But, at least I'm adding to my resume. If anyone needs an air-clown on a tiny plane in the near future...contact me.

05/19/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (3)

Love at first use!

KeruigPeople, let me tell you about my best friend...ok, well not my best friend, but a super-cool coffee maker called the Keurig. The Keurig is a single cup coffee maker that utilizes coffee pods to deliver the same, exact desired taste every time you make a cup. One of the best features is the ease of use. Simply drop the pod in the top of the Keurig and press a button - boom, coffee! It's hot, tastes great and the clean up is a simple as pulling the pod out and throwing it away. For those one cup situations this is the coffee maker to own.

We bought the cheaper one available at Target called the B-40. This more than meets our needs, but they have larger ones with varying sizes and neat little screens if you need more glowing screens in your house. But, as for me and mine the Keurig is taking top honors right now. Coffee-on!!

05/08/2007 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (9)

Skystream 3.7

Skystream Had a chance to go to a conference this year that opened a conversation about energy conservation and many experts said that the future of energy conservation was actually in personal energy development. That blew me away! To tell the truth, I had no idea that affordable home energy opportunities were that close at hand. After hearing about thermowells, new solar capturing devices, and home size wind generators I was convinced that the next home I owned would be outfitted with as many energy supplying elements as I could manage.

Since then I have been keeping my eye on several sites to see what new technologies and specifically, products are coming out that might fit my needs in the next home. This product, the Skystream 3.7 is a renewable, wind generator designed for residential homes. This  machine can actually spin your meter backwards in a good wind. That means you , not only don't spend as much  with your local utility, but "in theory" could get paid by a utility company.

Standing 40 - 50 feet tall it requires a  .5 acre of open space for wind, and costs $5,400. Makes me want to move today.

04/21/2007 in Design | Permalink | Comments (8)

Cool Site, Great Games

Neavegames This is a very cool site. Neave.com The jump page is fun to play with (Neave Imagination), but once you get past that the micro games are awesome. Frogger, Simon, Asteroids, Space Invaders and more. At last check I was number 19 on Asteroids...yeaaa!!! This site has a lot on it, flash based stuff...and I dig it. Play some games, check the fun, and give this guy some love.

04/14/2007 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (0)

An Open Letter to Sid Meier's Pirates!

Dancing Well HELLO NANCY!

What kind of pirate game has the pirate doing dance contests and fighting scenes as graphic as a Barney special? Sid Meier's Pirates! for the PSP that's what kind of game. I rented this game from a local video store and am I ever glad that I just rented it. This game fooled me for like the first few moments, and by the time I had finished playing it I somehow had received a subscription to Martha Stewart's Living and was listening to Barry Manilow's Greatest Hits. This game forced me to walk outside and punch a tree, then I sent a donation to the Arbor Day people - that is so unlike me...I never send donations to tree people.

Just for kicks and giggles I looked up cheat codes for the game and only one statement came up, "You've already been cheated jackass."

04/04/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (1)

My Humps By Alanis Morissette

MyhumpsQuite possible the best song she has ever done! Joking, of course - but it is hilarious to hear the song in her beautiful voice, the lyrics just sound that much more absurd though. The parody is better than anything weird AL has done in a long time, especially when she head butts a guy. I will say the most lacking part is her dancing...good thing she can sing!

The picture is from the video where hilarity ensues. YouTube.  And for more hilarious songs check out Brad Paisley singing his hit REDNECK song TICKS. Yes, Ticks - has to be heard to be believed.

04/02/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (3)

All Medicine Should Taste Like Robitussin

Proverthecounter_medicinerobitussinThere are many new-fangled cough syrup's available for parents to give their kids that taste good. Products like Jack and Jill's Raspberry, Mucinex Cherry, Triaminic Thin Strips (not technically even a syrup), Triaminic Liquid Bubble Gum, and then there is Fruit Punch Flavor, customizable flavors, and who knows what else.

I have two beliefs when it comes to getting rid of colds and nagging coughs.

1. Sweat it out.
        Get out there and push the illness out of you with a jog, or push-ups, or maybe some bikram yoga. You have to make the sickness want to leave your body through the sheer suffering that you are willing to put yourself under. Sickness wants an easy road, an unaltered path to your couch-potato side, and it is your duty to make that side of you die, and thus force sickness out.

2. Drink Robitussin.

       No, not the new fangled flavors that taste good going down, but the original. This almost completely negates belief number 1 due to the FACT that Robitussin tastes just like liquid death. If one could bottle death it would taste like Robitussin! When you swallow it, you lose a small portion of your life expectancy and therefor make sickness unwelcome in your body. You could try running after this, but you would end up in a white Ford Bronco driving down the interstate with Al Cowlings. Robitussin does unbelievable things to your mind and body making it impossible for sickness to appeal to your common sense (soft side) and tell you that things will rationally get better over time if you just lie down, and pasing out doesn't count here.

I think my point is we need to stop babying ourselves during these periods of physical lamentations and just get right to the point. Sickness sucks, the remedies are worse, and you should dry your hair before you go to bed that way you won't get a cold in the first place. Nothing helps a child learn that life is hard like a good dose of liquid death.

Now that I try to think about it, i wasn't even going to post an article tonight until that swig of 'TUSSIN".

03/27/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (6)

Genius Qualities

Who do you want to be when you grow up?
“I want to be a genius.” the child replied.
A genius huh? Did you know that history has placed that moniker “genius”, on some wildly successful and possibly crazy people?
“Yeah, I want to be like that.”
Successful or crazy?
“Remembered in history.”

EinsteinThe 24 Qualities that Geniuses Have in Common
The world’s greatest geniuses have all had 24 personality characteristics in common and you can develop the same traits yourself, says an expert.

“Most people have the mistaken idea that geniuses are born, not made”, declared clinical psychologist Dr. Alfred Barrious, founder and director of the Self-Programmed Control Center of Los Angeles and author of the book, Towards Greater Freedom and Happiness.

“But if you look at the lives of the worlds greatest geniuses like Edison, Socrates, DaVinci, Shakespeare, Einstein, you will discover they all had 24 personality characteristics in common.
“These are traits that anyone can develop. It makes no difference how old you are, how much education you have, or what you have accomplished to date. Adopting these personality characteristics enables you to operate on a genius level.”
Here are the Characteristics Dr. Barrios lists, which enable geniuses to come up with and develop new and fruitful ideas:
1.    DRIVE. Geniuses have a strong desire to work hard and long. They’re willing to give all they’ve got to a project. Develop your drive by focusing on your future success, and keep going.
2.    COURAGE. It takes courage to do things others consider impossible. Stop worrying about what people will think if you’re different.
3.    DEVOTION TO GOALS. Geniuses know what they want and go after it. Get control of your life and schedule. Have something specific to accomplish each day.
4.    KNOWLEDGE. Geniuses continually accumulate information. Never go to sleep at night without having learned at least one new thing each day. Read. And question people who know.
5.    HONESTY. Geniuses are frank, forthright and honest. Take the responsibility for thins that go wrong. Be willing to admit, ‘I goofed’ and learned from my mistakes.
6.    OPTIMISM. Geniuses never doubt they will succeed. Deliberately focus your mind on something good coming up.
7.    ABILITY TO JUDGE. Try to understand the facts of a situation before you judge. Evaluate things on an opened minded, unprejudiced basis and be willing to change your mind.
8.    ENTHUSIASM. Geniuses are so excited about what they are doing, it encourages others to cooperate with them. Really believe that things will out well. Don’t hold back.
9.    WILLINGNESS TO TAKE CHANCES. Overcome your fear of failure. You won’t be afraid to take chances once you realize you can learn from your mistakes.
10.    DYNAMIC ENERGY. Don’t sit on your butt waiting for something good to happen. Be determined to make it happen.
11.    ENTERPRISE. Geniuses are opportunity seekers. Be willing to take on jobs others won’t touch. Never be afraid to try the unknown.
12.    PERSUASION. Geniuses know how to motivate people to help them get ahead. You’ll find it easy to be persuasive if you believe in what you’re doing.

Continue reading "Genius Qualities" »

03/25/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (4)

This is My Boomstick

MyboomstickOne of the greatest movies of all time, Bruce Campbell vs. The Army of Darkness, and if you don't agree - you have a problem I can't pronounce. Or, maybe you just don't have a sense of humor? Well, now that I think of it, I'm probably not the best OVERALL judge of a "sense of humor". Probably, a better analogy is if you like reading the comics in The New Yorker then stop reading this post now.

As I was saying, the one of the top ten comedies of all time is Army of Darkness starring Bruce Campbell. This video from YouTube is a GREAT line from the movie. Boomstick. There are so many lines in this movie that it makes me think of all the great movie quotes that you could substitute in everyday language and, who knows, one might be able to actually not have an original word all day if you just quoted movie lines.

Which brings me to my initiative, Movie-line Day. Movie-line Day will be a day in which all manner of conversation will occur but, all content must be delivered in movie quotes. It will rock! However, here is a caveat...you can't just quote lines from one movie. Whoever the dillrod is that only quotes Napoleon Dynamite, or Caddy Shack shall be slapped. Yes, you can quote from the movie more than once, but two parties may not substitute meaningful dialog by trading lines back and forth between Fight Club. No, the real trick will be to quote lines from movies, or maybe Rap songs that actually substitute for actual conversation.

If you can't actually pull off an entire day of only quotes from famous movies then you must make several points during the day from movie, rap, or 80's television shows in the following manner:

"The Poet Mike Seaver said....", or "The Poet Ice T has said...", or The Famous Poet Cool Hand Luke once said...".

Take that Churchill chumps.

03/14/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (6)

Some of these things write themselves

Cross_stitch_manOn my way to the hotel in Orlando, FL when I notice the cab driver has a cross stitch deal next to his seat. So I asked him how long he had been cross stitching? He says, since I was 8. We started talking about cross stitching and whatnot, because, frankly he did not look like he should be cross stitching (by the way - I have no REASON whatsoever to even begin talking about cross stitching, I'm clueless basically.)

So I asked the fellow, where did he get his patterns, and how long did they normally take, and what was the largest piece he had ever done. He said it was as big as the windshield of the van we were in. Then I asked what it depicted and this is where our connection severed. He said it was some spaceship from a movie. When I say it severed, I mean - he actually said the name of the make-believe space ship and the movie it was from but unfortunately my mind was screaming "same planet, different worlds."

I asked if I could take his picture with it and he said absolutely, and yes I told him it would most likely end up on the internet. I don't understand why people do some of the things they do, and I don't mean that as a knock against them. I used to like to hit firefly's with wiffle ball bats - can't even begin to explain that one. But, gross over generalizations, while funny, don't come close to explaining real people, and real don't even come close to real understanding of what makes us tick.

All in all, it really just goes to show you - you CANNOT judge a book by it's cover.

03/07/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (7)

Mighty Mouse

WirelessmightymouseHave to tell you about the coolest thing I have had in a long time...The Apple Mighty Mouse. Specifically the wireless version, which makes it MORE wonderful. Some coworkers have been utilizing the little wonder for some time, and every chance I get I have been hijacking one of fellows devices with impunity. Instead of outright larceny I finally decided to go get my own, and the hits just keep on coming. The best thing about the mouse is the fast response, the second greatest thing about it is the scroll wheel which works vertically and horizontally. Vertically it obviously scrolls your page up and down and horizontally I have it programmed to go back or forward for my website surfing needs. I spend a lot of time online in the evening, reading the sites, tracking information, and watching clipmarks. The third most wonderful element of the design is how easy it is to travel with. My desk is about 20 different places a week and the MM is always ready to work. Do yourself a favor and check this baby out.

03/03/2007 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (2)

It's a matter of perspective

EyelidsOk, ok...I've been out of commission for a bit (bit =  month and a half). But, I'm still here and still watching the site everyday...and was struggling to think of what I wanted to say as a return article until two weeks ago when I was north of San Diego California.

Specifically I was staying at a nice resort-type place called The Inn at Rancho Santa Fe in RANCHO SANTA FE, CA the third most expensive Zip Code in America where the residents of said community light people like me on fire to have a smoke. I had just finished speaking with some people at the University of California San Diego, gone back to my room to have a few phone calls and do some work when I realized I was starving. Fast forward to sitting in a cafe at 2PM Western time on the hotel property where local residents often come for a quick bite or drinks.

Let me point out, that at these moments I am a sponge. I try to take in all the local flavor and nuances by listening to the conversations around me and watching how the people interact with each other. Some might call this eavesdropping, but if you get paid to do this type of work, it is referred to as research!

On my right (not pictured) a mother and college-age daughter were sharing a meal together discussing upcoming needs, social calendar, and where the daughter was dining that night, I think she said Dick's Last Resort. The mother asked her if she needed an outfit to wear to the restaurant, and the daughter emphatically declined. I resisted the temptation to lean over and say, Dick's is not the place to wear an "outfit". Maybe a shock collar, and some heels - but an outfit? Not necessary.

However, the most interesting conversation heard was by the two women pictured in the photo above. They had stopped in the cafe to have some refreshment, and as they began to catch up with one another regarding their lives and what their respective families had going on, it seemed they had a newish relationship.

I listened carefully to them talk about what the kids were doing, friends they had in common, and general town gossip. Then one of the ladies asked the other one, "Who did your eyes?" I assumed she was referring to the other ladies makeup.

But the other one responded right away - "The first time, Dr. So-and-so did them, and it was ok. But Dr. So-and-so touched them up a month ago and I just love his work." First lady reacts, "Oh yeah, they look great...I should get him to do mine."

"You really should, his office is so nice. The staff are really easy going and they just make you feel like it's not even a medical office. You know?"

"Maybe I should get everything done then..."

Raucous laughter....


ME...walking back to the room and looking at my eyes in the mirror...should I get them done?

02/23/2007 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (5)

BrainBlenders awarded top site in 2006

Newspaper_3

If you would like to make your own newspaper clipping go here.

01/01/2007 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (3)

Tide gets the "Bomb out"

UnabomberworkbenchHere's a topical article from your's truly, which never happens by the way. I do topical stories like Saddam does turtlenecks, like Rosie does shutting her pie-hole, like Mike Tyson does staying out of jail. All that, but completely opposite.

CBS 5 San Francisco, ran this story about the work the FBI, NSA and others have done over the last decade to decode the Unabomber's extremely complex code which detailed all of his exploits and potential future attacks. Apparently, his code and cipher was the most complex the NSA had seen since WW2. To the point where it took no less than six steps to enact the cipher. The good news is that the grungy fellow we all remember here, here and here apparently used Tide to get his clothes clean.

Now I don't believe that any sane brand manager would utilize this fortuitous product placement to grow the product awareness, but since we are talking about Ted Kaczynski here let's go the opposite direction.

Take this opportunity and maybe a few others to go in a COMPLETELY new direction. Allow people the opportunity to think about cleaning their clothes for another really necessary reason - avoiding horrible social/damaging information from leaving the private sanctity of your apparel.

"Want to get your clothes REALLY clean? Not spring fresh, or fragrant like a cuddly teddy bear, but criminal-investigation-exonerating-clean? Tide. Gets the Bomb out."

I could see a whole series of these:
SaddamcaughtRockinOj_1


"of course this is an act of entertainment, unless you're serious about trying a potentially hilarious tactic."

12/30/2006 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (2)

Sony eReader

 

The Sony eReader is all that I expected in a electronic book minus the fact that Sony is completely blowing it!

I love the fact that the new E-Ink technology allows my eyes to read for hours and not become fatigued due to back-lighting, the small size and weight at 9 ounces is superb, and the fact that I could download 10,000 books on this technical marvel would be OUTSTANDING if I could actually download the books from a computer I own. Let me back up.

This really caught my eye last year at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas at the Sony booth. While everyone else was more fascinated in playing the Playstation 3 or taking in the musical groups on stage, I had a chance to talk to one of the lead designers on this baby for like 30 minutes before we just ran out of things to say. But, it was fascinating...if I understand him right, Sony will continue to load new works to it's online book store, Connect. Meanwhile the software should undergo updates and potentially have the ability to add notes directly to the book itself, besides being able to bookmark endless pages right now. I have been jonesing  for this puppy the entire year, which as far as geek-toys and me is concerned is like 7 dog years. 

But, I digress. The real problem lies in the fact that they have not developed a working software interface for the Apple system which leaves me "up the creek" as far as loading content all the time, like new books and RSS feeds which the device is also designed to handle. I am willing to wait as I have access to PC's on occasion and could load my works from there. But, tonight I tried to load the program on a PC I have at home and to no avail...it cannot connect to the internet due to some horrible PC mystery which apparently would require an actual programmer to unravel.

So, here I sit waiting on the developers to work me into their system or at least answer the email I have sent or answer the service line I have called. Call me nuts, but Sony doesn't seem to have a lot going for it these days in the realm of people-friendly hardware interface or delivery, and for the price of this puppy I would assume they would be working overtime to develop better relationships with early adopters. All in all...I would highly recommend you waiting before jumping in with both feet and purchasing one. Hopefully, they will continue to work on the device and systems it supports.

12/19/2006 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (9)

Shuffle

Shuffle2The iPod has been around our culture for 5 years now, and I have been a user for all five of those years. Started with the original pod, which I used for 4 years. I branched out this year to the video version and have been very pleased with the product, even though I will NEVER fill the thing up. As a matter of fact, I rotated through the originals playlist no less than 5 times due to switching computers and my decision to stop stealing music on the net.

Now I have been very pleased to kick the new shuffle. I also have the original shuffle, but the stick-look leaves me feeling less than satisfied. The new version though, with it's handy little clip on feature and tiny size is PERFECT. I am a true fan than is more than pleased to just clip it on and walk through the airports with my soundtrack on. If you don't have an MP3 player and would like a good entry point...definitely get the new shuffle.

12/09/2006 in Tech | Permalink | Comments (6)

long day of travel



my heart goes out to all the road warriors stuck wherever they may be this weekend. for I, you see am one of those fortunate few who have had the opportunity to get to know their coworkers much better than they had expected over the past twelve hours.

I am sitting in a rented SUV on a major interstate in traffic that stretches for miles with 5 of my friends of commerce trying desperately to get home! earlier today we made it to the airport in plenty of time to get through check in, security and make it to the other side just as the dreaded "flight delayed" sign spread across our flight information. that is the tale-tell notice, in weather like this, that your flight could soon be cancelled. three hours later...sure enough it was. next flight out...24 hours from then, ON STANDBY! no thank you we said, we will take our chances with driving 8 hours through the weather ourselves. well...here we sit midnight has come and gone with several hours to go.

not a complaint! just a tip of the hat to the folks who marshal on without too much complaining or whining, here's to the dedicated loonies who don't yell at the people working the desks, or raise a giant fuss when their own lives are inconvenienced because of weather. good on you!

12/02/2006 in Entertainment, Well-being | Permalink | Comments (3)

Gears of War Commercial

Gow Have you seen the new commercial for Gears of War, video game coming out for the Xbox? It's all over the tube now, but is making quite an impression in "www-land" as well. Here is the commerciall.

If the song sounds familiar, then maybe you remember Donnie Darko where the Michael Andrews version of the song made a strong statement within the context of the film, and this is the same version used in the Gears of War ad. Here is the video for the song itself which is quite interesting.

But the real reason I bring the commercial up is the contrast of the action and the song. Unlike Donnie Darko which fits the song STRONGLY - the Gears of War advertisement is a bit of a contrast. One person responding to the commercial on a blog stated, "that's a fan-made piece of stuff, not an ad. I can't really see Microsoft using "Mad World" for an ad for Gears of War."

This same person said, "then again I might be wrong" - well guess what skippy? You are wrong. The rules, they are changing. Microsoft and companies like it are adapting the way they communicate to people. Less, let's follow a method, and more, let's make a compelling stand-along piece that moves people to react to it. Watch the commercial and tell me if you had a reaction - I'm interested.

11/20/2006 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (6)

It's What Dad Does



if I was completely honest with you...at no point in my young life did I think I would be spending most saturday's in a gymnastic facility watching my children running around doing "gymnastic" things.

and I love it! it is so much fun to see how excited they get about going to practice, I'm just glad I get a chance to watch them, and they get a chance to participate. at no point have we conveyed a message to either of the noodles that it is a right to participate in what is essentially a priveledge of our affluent culture. but the interesting thing is that neither of them regard it as so - nature/nurture?

sidebar...the real reason I bring it up is this. what are they going to be doing in another 5 years? 10 years? to me it doesn't matter...I just know I want to be around to see it.

11/18/2006 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (1)

Quote/ Counter-quote

HamlinhitstalworthFootball combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings - George Will.

What a great quote and here is my counter-quote: "Get up son, you're killing the grass."

I know there are a few of you out there that have heard that particular phrase.

11/13/2006 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (4)

Faith Hill Needs New Management

Faith_hillOK...I so rarely do this but here comes some unadulterated "entertainment" fodder for your reading pleasure. First off, Faith Hill and her manager are clearly delusional - especially if they think anybody believes this,

"Faith Hill and her manager are responding to comments about the sour note she appeared to have struck during Monday night's Country Music Association awards, during the female vocalist of the year award presentation.

When Carrie Underwood's name was announced  as the winner, Hill, who was nominated in the category, was caught by the ABC camera flailing her arms and apparently shouting "What?" before walking out of camera range.

Hill said Tuesday in a statement released by her publicist: "The idea that I would act disrespectful towards a fellow musician is unimaginable to me. For this to become a focus of attention given the talent gathered is utterly ridiculous. Carrie is a talented and deserving female vocalist of the year."

Added Hill's manager, Gary Borman: "I've worked with Faith for many years now and the idea that she would ever insult or undermine another artist, let alone another human being's success is absolutely preposterous. Those who know her know that she's incapable of such actions. She was being playful while the nominations were being read and playful after." FROM PEOPLE

Seriously? That's the explanation? She says WHAT?? and storms off camera and you come back with "she was being playful?" Mrs. Hill - you need a new publicist and that person is me. Here's my version of the explanation of your apparent temporary loss of your faculties.

"Mrs. Hill would like to tell Carrie Underwood to SUCK IT! The fact that that no-talent big-haired hack was even nominated in the same category at Mrs. Hill is a both a travesty and the recognition of a sad fact that the VMA's are run out of a former Stuckey's truck-stop somewhere near Nashville by a bunch of beer-swilling 'necks without the capacity to rub two brain cells together.

I have worked with Mrs. Hill for some time and can tell you that she has one vicious streak! If I know anything it's that Carrie Underwood had better watch her ass! Seriously, Mrs. Hill had placed 50 large on herself to win the award, in one of her offshore betting accounts, and her words to me as she stormed off the property Monday night was "that b----- better be an ATM machine cause Mama's gonna get her money back."

I'm not sure exactly what that means for Ms. Underwood but, it does not bode well. We would also like to take this time to remind everyone that Mrs. Hill's new album will be in stores just in time for Christmas"

11/08/2006 in Entertainment | Permalink | Comments (7)

It has been a week

I need to recap my Paris trip soon, but this has been a week!

11/03/2006 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (0)

Paris - Day Three (don't let le monsieur get you down)

Went on a cheese tour through some of the city today - and while it was interesting, frankly I am all cheesed out at this point. If you asked me if I wanted cheese tonight, I'd say "Nope! All good on the cheese front here." Which is damn hard to pull off in Paris - you can't fart in any given direction without hitting some cheese, no pun intended. But, nevertheless I have managed to get my fill of any and all types of cheese at this point. Even queso which is a type of cheese to my people would be on the "thou shall not pass list." Fromaged-out, as one would say - if one had made up the word "Fromaged".

After the cheese exposition I toured around the city on my own for several hours, and discovered something else - I don't walk like a European. They take quick, rapid steps and I take long, lumbering steps. They can probably hear me coming - if they couldn't hear me coming they could certainly have smelled the remains of the cheese carcasses on me! I know why they walk that way too...it's not just the tight pants, and pointy shoes, it's the freaking mass of humanity with no personal space. They are crammed in here and all walking (the real reason they are thin is that they walk everywhere). But, back to my point, if there is one...I don't do small, quick-steps...I might take long, "quicker-steps" somewhere - but the little chop-chop-chop crap is out for me. Which, frankly makes me a giant nuisance in the Paris sidewalk activity.

So yes, my fellow American's I have discovered the problem overseas and he is me! I am the big ugly American looking for a Starbuck's and saying MERCY here in Paris...and it has dawned on me that nobody is going say anything about it. They just roll their eyes, walk around me, and utter little things under their breath. For example, late last night on the top of the Eiffel tower a pushy Asian man tried to force me into a space that didn't exist, and I reminded him with my elbow that, "NO - I don't fit in your time-frame of exiting the platform, and you can wait!"

In short, I am spoiled with space. I like big rooms, open space to walk and run, and maybe, just maybe some cheese in a can.

10/25/2006 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (8)

Paris - Day 2

Pict0036Oooh...whole new level of sickness. Went to the Sial show...walked around in the 90 degree heat INSIDE the expo center, with the serious smokers from other countries. The reason French people are so thin is that they don't eat, instead they smoke and drink tiny cups of coffee. Joking of course. On my way back to the hotel I did encounter a wonderful cab driver in a CLEAN Mercedes, who was nice to pull over twice whilst I hurled. They say the second day is the one that kills you - I concur. That's exactly what it did to me.

Next day went to the show and saw some cool cool stuff. Look at the pictures I posted under Paris for images and descriptions of the findings. More tomorrow...

10/24/2006 in Well-being | Permalink | Comments (0)

Paris Day 1

Pict0017Hit the ground running at @ 9 AM Paris time, made it through the security and out into a rainy Paris Saturday morning. If you want advice, fly out of the country, and people will line up around the block to give you little tricks you can use to: a) sleep on the plane b) recover from jet lag c) how to handle your first day in a dramatically new time zone. I heard lot's of advice, and did none of these things...in retrospect maybe I should have taken something on the flight so that I could have actually slept. That seems to be the biggest detriment to my stay thus far.

After dropping off luggage we walked to a cafe and enjoyed a Parisian breakfast which consisted of really serious coffee, some kind of orange drink, and several types of bread. The croissant was one of the best I had ever had, however the buttered toast seemed a bit out of place. Walked to the Lourve and decided to take a good run at the Denon gallery. It was the first time I had seen the Mona Lisa and if I hadn't known it was the most popular painting in the world I wouldn't have guessed it in the presence of such magnificent scale. I hate to admit this now, but walking through the Lourve things tend to take on an almost pedestrian nature. For the first hour or so I was in awe of the work, then I found myself unable to process all the magnificence...I had to leave the building in order to get it through my head what I had just experienced. There is no way you can see it in one day.

Continue reading "Paris Day 1" »

10/23/2006 in Design | Permalink | Comments (1)

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