Brain Blenders

BAM! POW!! UGH!...Batman!!!

By: A.brain

3/31/04

You think the SUV and specifically the Hummer hasn't had an effect on culture? This is the new Batmobile. More like a cross between a Porsche and a tank...
(this is the new one)
Remember the old Batmobile?

(this is the 1955 model)

Reminds me of the Oldsmobile commercials..."This isn't your father's Oldsmobile". Somewhere along the way they came up with this travesty...
(from 1995 Batman Forever)

With all the Batman images and stories rattling around in my head it makes me wonder - Is there a cooler super hero than Batman? Seriously, is there? He is the one Superhero who doesn't specifically have any super-powers , and yet...kicks much tail. Sure, the Punisher is just a guy too, but he uses A LOT of firearms...and Batman just has the belt. Plus he has the incredible casy of bad guys...which in my mind, makes the good guy good.

Well, I went off and got all Mr.oi on you there, but I thought just the image of the Batmobile wasn't enough to warrant a posting.

I found my perfect match

By: A.brain

3/29/04

According to Match.com I am looking for a 40 year old 6'2" blonde Asian woman with a square face, pointy chin, and full lips with or without glasses.

( I hope she doesn't dress like this)

Interestingly, a lot of the features you liked are not especially popular. They're not what usually defines "mainstream" attractiveness for women. But who cares what the mainstream thinks?!

Yeah - not mainstream? No kidding...

(the type of face I like apparently)

Picky: Okay, you qualify as "picky," or maybe you just have a clearer idea than most men about what you like in women. It's almost instinctual for you. In a crowded room, you can quickly spot the most attractive woman. Even if you only catch her out of the corner of your eye, you know which women have "the right stuff." You probably struggle with balancing your natural instincts, which draw you to good looking women, with your desire to find smart, mature, and well-rounded women. But you're also a realist. You know how important a physical "spark" is in a relationship and can't settle for less. Still, in the test, you seemed to recognize the difference between "eye candy," women who are just nice to look at, and more approachable cute women.

I am feeling cheesier and cheesier all the time...but go to Match.com and take their physical attraction test to see what you like...because you know you have been stumbling in the dark for eons with no idea what kind of person you are looking for physically? Uhm, ok...I wonder if this is going to work as wonderfully for everyone else as it did me. (note the irony)

The Portable People Meter...or how George Orwell predicted the pager.

By: A.brain

Ok, I like stats as much if not more than the next guy, and when the usual stat-daddy's unload the most up to date figures on me, I am mega-pumped to check them out. And, like you I have come to expect that not all statistics are 100% accurate. I mean, even Harriet at In The Aquarium tells me that her stat counters for her site don't report the same numbers all the time. So, we have some inconsistency with the stats - ok...I got it. Not freaked out about it, even when I quote stats to someone like the butthole that I am (cause only truly elitist jack-wads use actual statistics in their everyday venacular) I am fairly aware at how empty the percentage points could be.

"Did you know that 44% of all internet hate crimes end with someone having a mouse removed from an orifice in their person?"

But The Portable People Meter could be TOO ACCURATE for me. The pager-sized electronic device clips to your belt. The PPM picks up specially encoded signals coming from televisions and radios. The signals have been "psychoacoustically masked" to render them inaudible to the human ear, and contains the name of the program that the PPM wearer is watching or listening to. The meter keeps a perfect record of all the broadcast media the wearer consumes, making a note of the date, time, and duration of consumption.

The Portable People Meter has a lot going for it. So much, that Arbitron is adding GPS capability to the device so it can tell where its wearer is consuming media.

The reason that is a key feature is that it will enable Arbitron to determine where people are influenced by media. And since they are essentially tracking people, and not advertising, the coming stages of measurable print, and web mediums in the device will be a keystone for them as well in determining how we are exposed to outside influences.

How will they measure the print and web outlets we look at...I mean it's not like the newspaper will put out a psychoacoustically masked signal is it? No, not yet - but consider the Microsoft SenseCam, which can record up to 2000 images a day and would give you an actual "log" of the days activities without so much as a keystroke lifted to record it.
(the SenseCam)

Or how about the Nokia LifeBlog, which makes you ino Jim Carey's character in Truman, having your life recorded - except you'd know about it.

I don't know about you - but NOBODY really wants to see my life played out before them. Hell - I don't want to see my life replayed before me - AND I FIND MYSELF INTERESTING!! I know Arbitron just wants to pimp out the information for fat amounts of cash- but I find it creepy coupled with the idea that Shadow threw on us...one thought...

1984.

Freddy Adu and bless you too

By: A.brain

3/26/04

Freddy Adu is the youngest player in team professional sports in America in over 100 years. And when he steps onto the pitch to play for DC United on April 3rd, he will be one of the highest paid soccer stars as well. This kid is blowing up bigger than crack flavored cotton candy - 60 Minutes is doing a story on him Sunday March 28th , and they have never done a story on a soccer player EVER!

Nike has him signed to a multi-year deal, Pepsi does as well. And SI just did an article on him as the savior of soccer. By the way SI said he was "NEXT" which is practically stealing that concept from ESPN the Mag, but that's a side note.

Whether you agree or not that soccer is a worthwhile sport, the rest of the world does, and America is enamored with the guy and he's 14!!! So that adoration and attention could grow considerably by the time he is 17 - which would be just in time for the World Cup, and you know Pele' started in his first WC at 17. Did I mention he slept with Brittany Spears?- ok..that's a complete lie, but I figured Paris Hilton would be too believable. I am more along the lines of Jim Rome that nobody REALLY cares about soccer in the U.S., but I am more than willing to see it gain acceptance and acclaim. As a matter of fact, I'm even going to tune in and watch this kid on Sunday when the Old People Network interviews him. Besides - I am right on the verge of being disinfranchised by MLB and their bull-crap. Bring on futbol!

DUPED!!!

By: A.brain

3/26/04

Thanks to Rob Thurman and his astute reporting (Rob happens to not only be like Scooby Doo and those meddling kids "getting to the bottom of things" but be very funny as well) it has been revealed to me that I have been had, finagled, bamboozled, hoodwinked, run amuck, I didn't land on Plymouth Rock, Plymouth Rock landed on me...well you get the point. Turns out it's all bunk what I wrote about "gancing"

I was shocked!!(that's not me by the way)(either one of them)

Here Rob reveals the level of deceit.

The "Suped-up" Mobile Home

By: A.brain

3/25/04

This is a metal house. Well, it's also got glass, some concrete, and a little TLC - but it's mostly metal. You know all those shipping containers you see leaving on trucks, trains, ships - that is what this house is made of, and I want one. How cool would it be to open up the side of your house in the summer time...put this sucker right of the lake or ocean and let the breezes just blow through.

Check out ADAM KALKIN and his freaky ideas. You'll love it if you ever wanted to live in a bank, like I did when I was a kid. I thought it would be great to convert the drive-through to a garage and the safety deposit box would be a convenient way to get pizzas delivered. Of course this one looks more like a U-Haul storage facility or, frankly - a large shipping container with garage doors in it. Damnit...I want one anyway, and I'm going to pull a George Costanza and tell you I'm into architecture.

The Original Miracle Worker Set to Retire.

By: Mr. Oi

3/24/04
Beam me up Scotty, one last time!

I know I am supposed to be the tech guy of this infamous blog site but I have recently stumbled upon a rather disappointing public announcement. What I am about to tell you will undoubtedly bring forth a great stirring up in your peritoneum because I too felt the queasiness of this sad news in my lower trunk. If you are even just .001 part nerd you already know to whom I am referring to by just reading the above title. (Q. When do you use whom instead of who? A. Use who when a nominative pronoun is appropriate, and whom when an objective pronoun is appropriate.) Sadly it is true James Doohan better know as Chief Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott will give his last public appearance at The James Doohan Farewell Star Trek Convention & Tribute June 18-20 at the Los Angeles Airport Hilton. Never again will this talented actor publicly sign autographs, collectibles, or sit for pictures with his adoring multitude of fans.

Man, this announcement just blows! I am truly saddened by this. I love Scotty, notice I kept it present tense, because 35 years later the character Montgomery Scott still works for me. The list of Scotty’s coolness is rather lengthy but I feel a few things really stand out. First, he had a great accent that we all wished we could imitate at one time or another. Secondly, no one could play Kirk better then Scotty, by play I mean telling Kirk in order to fix the anti matter converter it would take a minimum of 16 hours, but knowing it would only take a maximum of 12. Once the task was completed in the shorted amount of time Kirk would perk up and say “Scotty, you ‘re a miracle worker!”. (Yea I know Kirk fired him as Chief Engineer once but that was short lived. Friggen trek nerd) Thirdly, Scotty could out drink, out brawl, and out love most federation lackeys and aliens who cruised the galaxy in the 23rd century. I could go on but I think you get the picture.

Did you know that James Doohan is a Veteran of WWII and was in D-Day? Yep check this out!
Doohan was born on March 3, 1920, in Vancouver, British Columbia. He left home at age 19 to join the Canadian Forces, fighting with the Allies in World War II. After outscoring his fellow soldiers on an officer's exam, he became Captain in the Royal Canadian Artillery. While leading his men into battle on D-Day, Doohan was wounded in the leg and hand, and eventually lost a finger. For the remainder of the war, he became a pilot observer, and received the dubious distinction of being called the "craziest pilot in the Canadian Air Forces."

After returning home to Canada, Doohan performed a few scenes for the local radio station, and was awarded a two-year scholarship to the Neighborhood Playhouse in New York City. Beginning in 1946, he trained at the Playhouse with Sanford Meisner, alongside such future stars as Leslie Nielsen, Tony Randall and Jackie Gleason.

You can read the rest of the article here. I would like to take this opportunity to thank one of my Favorite Star Trek actors for 50+ years of entertainment service which will never be replaced and for putting his life on the line in helping to beat back the Nazi Germany oh so long ago. Live long and prosper Montgomery Scott….sniff….sniff

I'm a Pirate...AAARRGHHH

By: A.Brain
3/23/04

Essentially, Americans are a nation of takers, liars, and cheats. We take from anyone and everyone; office, family, church, big business (and I didn't even reference the scandalous activity of Enron). We lie to get ahead, stay out of trouble, not hurt someones feelings - hell we lie just for kicks and giggles, and we cheat at everything from our taxes to golf, and the NCAA Tourney. Reporters are being tagged for not reporting the facts - not just NOT reporting the facts but OUTRIGHT making crap up!! At some point in the 90's we were introduced to Napster, now LimeWire, and Kazaa file trading programs. And we JUST straight JACK music, movies, software, and the like from those sites and feel relatively good about it.

How did we get this way? Well -I'll tell you!

We are sick and tired of merchants charging us a mark up of 150%, automotive corporations treat us like their slow cousin who'll eat the poo if you tell him it's chocolate, and the music industry gouges us... and the who the hell cares if the music industry goes to the crapper?? Do you? Honestly? If you pay retail for something you're a loser, if you don't rip your tunes, or download movies, or burn video games you mine as well be a character from Oz who bends over.

How much does it cost to make a CD anyway...15 cents. Ohh..wait A., doesn't the artists intellectual property count for soemthing? Yeah - it does - but does it have to cost me $18.85 before taxes to pay for it(I realize you can buy 'em cheaper but I'm making a point here)? I'm not against paying for something quality...as a matter of fact I went out and bout the Chappelle show season one on DVD, and I could have downloaded the entire thing from LimeWire or just have taped if off my Cable for FREE. It would have taken longer, and not been commercial free and uncensored if I had recorded it. And the download off of an FTP site would have been possibly riddled with problems, and then I would have to burn it to a DVD on my laptop...so it was a hassle to do it that way. And I was more than willing to pay for what I wanted, because I really wanted that! There in lies the difference in ripping off and paying, convenience, quality, and more importantly my comfort. I feel a little better about owning the pretty little box set, don't feel the guilt about stealing it off the net, only had to go one place and buy it - but still feel some bitterness towards Comedy Central for sticking it to me – their loyal watcher and advocate. And for that reason now I can justify ripping music off the net and putting it on my iPod because - I'm a PUNK if I PAY!!! And YOU ARe TOO!!!

SO...aarrgh.

Why have We have become a nation of thiefs and liars and cheats... in short we idolize Pirates. Think not?

What was the last good movie with Johnny Depp? Two years ago the Raiders and the Bucs played for the Super Bowl, Jerry wore the Puffy Shirt, Brad Pitt did the voice of Sinbad in the cartoon, Captain Morgan's Rum, Pirate Video Games, Orlando Bloom is a freaking pirate, and an elf (I really don't have a conclusion to draw on that one) the beloved Christian video conglomerate Veggie Tales has a Pirate episode, and even Sir Paul McCartney married a one legged woman!! Oh and by the way...I am

What kind of Pirates of the Carrinbean character are you?

In the 80's we idolized the Ninja's and in the 90's we thought we'd celebrate dinosaurs and bring em back to life through movies, TV specials, cartoons for kids, happy meals, etc..., and now we wanna be freaking Pirates.

Out on the high seas piracy has seen a steady increase due to marauding gangs of bandits and organized crime. When people can't make a buck, as they were used to making it, they will sometimes resort to theft, as The Roots said in their song "The Seed"...

I don't beg from a rich man
And I don't scream and kick when his sh-- don't fall in my hands man
Cause I know how to steal...

That's the bottom line...too proud to beg, pissed off nobody is giving it too me, so I take it. Ahoy Matey.

That's a fancy BONG you got there son!

By: M.F.

3/22/04

So the other night, Cata and I go dancing at this phat place off of the
"water front"...it's pretty decent and diversified and they play every
music you could ever want to hear...the club is huge and has several large
sections all equipped with their own dj...one section has hip-hop, another
section has Latin music and then techno, etc. We danced it all and when a
song we didn't like would come on, we go to another section...it was pretty
amazing...

Afterwards, she decides to take me out somewhere special, as a brief
overview, Cata is from Colombia but her aunt married a Persian and
she used to stay with them as a youngster. They lived in San
Francisco and Cata's parents used to send her to the states to live with
them so she could learn English, needless to say, she picked up some of her
uncle's culture and wanted me to experience it.

She brought me to a place in Georgetown called Cafe Prince...it was about
2 am on a weekend and the place was packed, standing room only...Cata and I
managed to find a place to sit and we waited to be served for about 30
minutes...finally, after making contact with several of the employees we
went to the back and ordered some food, Cokes, and shisha.

Eventually a gentlemen brought out food and shisha/hookah...it was a long hot bottle with cool
water in the bottom, flavored tobacco on top and a slender hose to suck out
of...it was kind of weird for me because this bottle looked like a really
nice bong...however, everyone in the place was smoking it and cops were
coming and leaving so nothing illegal was going on, but it sure did feel
like it...

"Smoking a shisha is nothing like smoking a cigarette," a 71-year-old man said as he looked up from his Hookah."Cigarettes are for nervous people, competitive people, people on the run," he said. "When you smoke shisha, you have time to think. It teaches you patience and tolerance, and gives you an appreciation of good company. Shisha smokers have a much more balanced approach to life than cigarette smokers."

Herve Villechaize

By: A.Brain
3/19/04

This isn't forward thinking or anything even close to news-worthy - I just have some kind of weird obsession with Tattoo from Fantasy Island. You REALLY need to see this.
Why do people have to fight?