Brain Blenders: M. Night Shyamalan needs to lighten up!

The Village opens this Friday at a theater near you. This much anticipated film is about a Village in Kentucky during the 1980's that is held hostage by a bunch vacuum cleaner salesmen who hate the color red. Or something like that...anyway, M.(maurice) Night Shyamalanananana needs to lighten up, cause cuz is way to uptight.

I've seen all his movies Sixth Sense, Signs, Unbreakable, You Got Served and they were all good. But, I get a sense from these films that Maurice needs lay off The Cure and mix in a little pop music in his iPod. There was a "documentary" on SciFi channel about how secretive M. is and it was LAUGHABLE. It couldn't have been more scripted than if the "director" of the piece had made out with Shamalama at one point. Which he looked like he wanted to do several times, like a nervous little weiner dog.

Anyway - on the Village web site there is a section called Face your Fears, where apparently we can all go and write something fearful that happened in our lives and maybe come to grips with it. The first one I read was about a Nancy-Mary that got piss-scared in the woods because it SOUNDED like something was following them. At one point this person took off running then turned and yelled, "I am not scared of you!", which is totally believable coming from someone running wildly through the woods like an idiot. It's people like that I hope run head long into low branches. I decided to add to the mix with my own tale...and just in case Maurice Night Shamalamadingdong doesn't post my story here is my harrowing tale:

When I was younger I had a parakeet that would often call my name out for no reason; "Francis...ack....Francis." Over and over, very annoyingly - until everyone in the family had begun to copy the bird, and yell my name out when I came into the room - just to annoy me more. One night when everyone was asleep - I crept downstairs grabbed the bird, and took him outside to finish it off. While I carried the bird in my hand it looked up at me and said, "I know what you're doing, and you'll pay for this." I immediately dropped the bird and stepped down hard on its neck. I slept very little that night...the next day a bird crapped on my car. My car has been crapped on several times since then too.