Brain Blenders

I got "FOUND"

by: a.brain

The absolutely neatest magazine I have seen in a long time is Found. Even if you are just slightly voyeuristic you will love Found Mag. Something about me loves the weirdos in this world...not enough to create a habitat for 'em or anything extreme, but just kinda peeking in on their nuttiness every so often.
And I am not talking about the guy standing on the corner wearing a sandwhich board yelling about the coming domination of the free-world by mayonnaise magnates. No - I'm talking about the "normal" looking gal walking past you who is dealing with a world of crap and then maybe she writes a little note to herself that says..."Run into a wall"??

But the one I love the most is this one.

I can only imagine that "Aaron" was laughing his butt off about taping "man-porn" onto this other persons homework. I would have found this one HILARIOUS. Had it been me who had the "man porn" taped onto my homework, I would have totally run with it, "Oh yeah, I been looking for that everywhere! Thanks for returning it...and if you find some photos of me with a couple of midgets in compromising positions...just hang onto that as well."

Problem with Found is that the magazine is kinda hard to find, but you can order it through their site or just go online and check out the different files they have. Happing finding.

The Borg Couldn’t Assimilate This Fan in Las Vegas

By David Dog

Recently I got sentimental about a few TV shows I used to watch in my childhood that are now available on DVD (see Johnny Quest is Still My Hero). But those were shows I let go of when I stopped watching Saturday morning cartoons. There is one series, however, that grew up with me well into my 30s. Yes, I am a lifelong Star Trek fan. Some would hasten to call me a Trekkie, but after reading this article, I don’t think will qualify.

After years of watching each episode of the original Star Trek series several times in syndication, I was sure that the Next Generation series with Patrick Stewart simply wouldn’t measure up. But it did, and I never missed an episode for 7 years (thanks to VCRs). Deep Space Nine was tedious, so I avoided it, except for the one episode where the characters went back in time to an actual original Star Trek episode. Voyager also got me, with my interest peaking when SevenofNine (Jeri Ryan, the only woman I openly lusted after in front of my wife) hit the show in the last couple of seasons. Enterprise was okay, but I must admit they lost me this past year.

I think I was about 34 years old at the time when drove all the way from the MGM Grand where I was staying, to the Las Vegas Hilton, where I plunked down twenty or so dollars to, as it turned out, live out every Trek fan’s wildest dream (and mine) via the Original Star Trek Experience: to arrive in the transporter room of the Enterprise, which was under attack, go on the bridge, interact with “actual” Enterprise crew mates, run down hallways, and ride a shuttlecraft, which flew masterfully from deep space and crash-landed in the Hilton via an elevator shaft.

So here I am this week for this bowler’s convention at the Las Vegas Hilton, home of the new 4D Star Trek Borg Experience, with a couple of hours to kill. I made my way through the lame casino area designed to look futuristic, and actually went up to the information counter to see if I had enough time to go on this creepy Borg interactive experience. Yes, I had enough time. But they wanted $30 of my money for just 18 minutes of thrills. To me that sounded like an expensive massage in Singapore with no happy ending. Suddenly, I had to make a decision between continuing to feed an admittedly waning passion (I never watch any of the Star Trek series’ re-runs) for a lifetime fantasy escape versus keeping the money in my pocket (no hope of expensing this puppy) to use instead on other real-life, present-day addictions, like sporty sunglasses, Nike Dri-Fit clothing, and running shoes. Sorry Star Trek franchise, you had your chance and you failed to assimilate me.

I still would like to find out what “4D” is, though.

The Faddies

This information comes from Dr. Fad's site. You want to invent something or learn about wacky wallwalkers...check him out.

Top Ten Best Fads Of All Time
1. Slinky
2. Hula Hoop
3. Pet Rock
4. Frisbee
5. Silly Putty
6. Yo-Yo
7. Cabbage Patch Doll
8. Rubik's Cube
9. Silly String
10. Weebles

Top Ten Dumbest Fads Of All Time
1. The Leg
2. Dismembear
3. The Everbrown Plant
4. Rock'n Roll
5. Shark Hat
6. Glow-in-the-dark Toilet Seat
7. Extend-a Fork
8. Dober Mask
9. Saddam Hussein Toilet Paper
10. Father Baby Bonder

Top Ten Grossest Fads Of All Time
1. Slime
2. Garbage Pail Kids
3. Fart-in-a-Can
4. Whoopee Cushion
5. Barf Stick
6. Rubber Puke
7. BO Cologne
8. Rubber Snot
9. Halloween Eye Popper
10. Plastic Poop

Top Future Fads For 2003
1. Quesy Bake Cookerator
2. Stinkblasters
3. Mental Viagra
4. Wall Street Toilet
5. Remote Control Surfer
6. Accuthrow
7. Tornado in a Bottle
8. UrbAnimals
9. Waterworm
10. Fingerboard

Mr. Unlikely

You knew it would't be long before we actually had quality rap music coming from the burbs, and his name is Troy Walsh. And isn't it that just appropriate - Troy. Not T-bone or even T-Roy. Just Troy Walsh...cool.

Rapping about what life is like for a drunk, white guy with two parents - who is up to no good in the suburbs. Smoking weed, drinking beer, shoplifting from malls...and his show rocks. Dude is completely indie. Host of Penn State University’s largest Original Hip Hop Night “Hip-Hop Anonymous”. Won many freestyle contests, and been featured on a mtv.com article. Check him out...and to quote from his press -

“Your very own chic, country-clubbing musical messiah. Volvo-driving, gator-shirted, upper-middle-class bohemia. Pure privilege. The palest thing on two feet.”

Still in Chicago

Today was one of the coolest days...more about it later...I think. But, first my buddy Jim sent me a jpeg of this toilet.

"Here's a picture of a public toilet in Switzerland that's made entirely
out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are
inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box."

Hey slick!!

Call your bald friends...the ultimate head razor is here - The Headblade. Well - as far as I know the ONLY razor designed for heads.

Why Food Sucks at Bowling Alleys

Dog Blog

By David Dog

I was just at a bowling convention. No, not a convention for people who like to bowl. That would make sense, sort of. This was a convention for people who like to run bowling alleys, and talk to other people who run bowling alleys. They’re called “bowling proprietors,” if you please.

And if the thought of a big convention of bowling alley owners isn’t enough to amaze you, would you believe that these people also have an organization, called the BPAC, which is a lobbyist group for bowling proprietors (www.bpaa.com/BPACwhatitis.htm). Now it begs the question, what is it that bowling proprietors are trying to get from Congress? I mean, is the next IRS tax form going to have a special deduction especially for bowling proprietors on it? Is that their big dream? Or do bowling proprietors work on the sly, getting their special interests added to those big pork barrel add-ons in a more important bill. Or have they simply formed to stop the stream of bowling shoes from walking out of bowling alleys in recent years?

I don’t know about bowling lobbyists, but I do know about food in bowling alleys. It sucks. If you’ve gone the average bowling any time in the past few years, you probably had the same ball-park choices I did: hot dogs, nachos, and pizza by the slice.

But before you go blaming your local bowling proprietor, let me just tell you that these guys would love to add a Caesar salad or a panini sandwich to the menu, BUT THE LEAGUE BOWLERS WON’T LET THEM. League bowlers may look pretty trendy in their retro “Bob” shirts and bowling shoes being knocked off by New York designers, but League Bowlers’ tastes appear to be locked firmly in the ‘60s when it comes to food fashion. Which is fine, except we don’t have to wear what they’re wearing. But league bowlers evidently have enough clout with bowling alley owners to dictate what the rest of us get to eat when we decide to go bowling every few years.

The case is not hopeless, however. There are a few places where you can dabble in bowling without giving up style or getting gas. 10Pin (www.10pinchicago.com) is a new clubby place in Chicago with bar stools and swanky banquettes that encourage you to nosh shrimp pizza and sip fancy martinis while taking in the bowling action. You don’t actually need to bowl to have fun here. And Lucky Strike in California also has food and atmosphere to suit quirky retro tastes.

So pop on those Ken Cole shoes and go get lucky at the bowling alley.