Fellow Americans, I want to encourage you to raise your banner high and warn our uninformed countrymen that the number one threat to our great nation is BEARS! That's right...bears are America's most intense problem. Not terrorists, depression (although the depression commercials are damn near fatal), or even A.I... but bears. Grizzlies, Polar, Black, Brown, Kodiak, Asian, stuffed...these are the enemies of the States. You must be aware and prepared for the worst America!!!!
No idea where this came from?
In the "Threat-Down", Stephen Colbert lists the top five threats to American security in an effort to keep America on its toes. Bears are often high on the list, usually making the #1 spot because of a
recurring childhood nightmare that a bear would eat him as he slept. From wikipedia.org