Went on a cheese tour through some of the city today - and while it was interesting, frankly I am all cheesed out at this point. If you asked me if I wanted cheese tonight, I'd say "Nope! All good on the cheese front here." Which is damn hard to pull off in Paris - you can't fart in any given direction without hitting some cheese, no pun intended. But, nevertheless I have managed to get my fill of any and all types of cheese at this point. Even queso which is a type of cheese to my people would be on the "thou shall not pass list." Fromaged-out, as one would say - if one had made up the word "Fromaged".
After the cheese exposition I toured around the city on my own for several hours, and discovered something else - I don't walk like a European. They take quick, rapid steps and I take long, lumbering steps. They can probably hear me coming - if they couldn't hear me coming they could certainly have smelled the remains of the cheese carcasses on me! I know why they walk that way too...it's not just the tight pants, and pointy shoes, it's the freaking mass of humanity with no personal space. They are crammed in here and all walking (the real reason they are thin is that they walk everywhere). But, back to my point, if there is one...I don't do small, quick-steps...I might take long, "quicker-steps" somewhere - but the little chop-chop-chop crap is out for me. Which, frankly makes me a giant nuisance in the Paris sidewalk activity.
So yes, my fellow American's I have discovered the problem overseas and he is me! I am the big ugly American looking for a Starbuck's and saying MERCY here in Paris...and it has dawned on me that nobody is going say anything about it. They just roll their eyes, walk around me, and utter little things under their breath. For example, late last night on the top of the Eiffel tower a pushy Asian man tried to force me into a space that didn't exist, and I reminded him with my elbow that, "NO - I don't fit in your time-frame of exiting the platform, and you can wait!"
In short, I am spoiled with space. I like big rooms, open space to walk and run, and maybe, just maybe some cheese in a can.
Some interesting things military history buffs might enjoy:
Lesser known facts about the French military...
-in primitive times ancient frenchmen actually surrendered to thunderstorms
-the Eiffel tower is tall enough for neighboring countries to easily view a white flag
-a frenchman will fight you to the death if you stand between him and a white flag
-to Americans the 2 most famous frenchmen are Inspector Clousseau and Pepe LePew
-the french enjoy selling arms to enemies of America and quite honestly America does not mind this because french equipment sucks
-it is rumored french people stink...this rumor comes from smelling them
-in the Cola wars france was occupied by Pepsi for several months
--Plagiarized from a source I can't remember now...I read these several years ago and just couldn't forget them.
Welcome back.
Posted by: Shadow | 11/07/2006 at 10:56 PM
Dude...I cannot tell you HOW MANY TIMES that exact phrase came to my mind while riding the train!
Posted by: a.brain | 10/31/2006 at 12:56 AM
What's it like to be surrounded by the smell of wolfpu**y all day long Brain?
Now that's funny!
Posted by: cancer | 10/30/2006 at 11:34 PM
have fun over there -- have enjoyed reading @ the trip but did time stop in hell, I mean Paris? Feed me Feed me. dooshbag is right... God does hate the French.
ps: be honest now... they do stink --(bo)
Posted by: uni | 10/29/2006 at 03:41 PM
a.brain, i honestly believe that no one likes the French people in Paris, not even the French...no matter what you do, they will get offended about something...it's just what people do in Paris - they get offended...however, the other folks throughout France can be pretty cool...
just to have some fun, ask them if they prefer speaking German or French, and before they respond, say, "You're welcome"...ha ha...old history joke
Posted by: doosh | 10/25/2006 at 01:41 PM
nooooo not grouchy...absolutely happy! And tom, I don't think the proper authorities were notified...but my lojac is sitting on the night stand at home!
Posted by: a.brain | 10/25/2006 at 11:29 AM
Seems to me that you're awfully grouchy considering that you're in Paris. You might need to work on that.
Posted by: AmyWafl | 10/25/2006 at 09:40 AM
a.brain in Paris? Oh no, did anyone warn the national press to turn off their newswire services while you travel abroad? Should we be concerned with international diplomacy at this point?
Posted by: tom delong | 10/25/2006 at 07:37 AM